A Shipbound Christmas
by Fury Seven Kerrigan
Summary: Pure fluff. Archer goes all fatherly towards his crew at Christmastime. Apologies for the saccharine nature :


**A Shipbound Christmas**

"Where, in the name of all that is good, did we get a Christmas tree from in _space_?" Hoshi said to no one in particular as she walked into the Mess to see Chef organising where the tree could go so it wouldn't bother mealtimes.

Crewman Rogers looked up as Hoshi spoke. "It was a special delivery Ma'am, brought to us by the Vulcan ship that docked with us last week Ma'am."

Hoshi walked over to the tree taking up a large part of the very centre of the room and saw Trip's head pop out from underneath.

"Tha' should do 'er," he said, having fixed the tree in it's stand. He saw Hoshi. "I dunno about you, but I'd-a paid good money to see the look on their faces when they were asked to bring us this from home! Can you imagine wha' they were thinkin'?" He grinned in childish delight at the thought and Hoshi couldn't help but laugh in agreement.

She leaned forwards and took in the smell of having a real tree- there was nothing like it.

"Ah know, it's the best, dontcha think?" Trip said, knowing exactly what she was thinking. "Turns out that the Vulcans were playing at being Father Christmas and they didn' even know it- they brought us all sorts of things!"

At this thought, everyone in the Mess laughed.

"The Cap'n isn't lettin' us see any of it though until Christmas Eve- it's all secrets. 'Cept for Chef though- he knows what food we're having as he has to cook it." He turned to Chef who was still standing admiring the tree which was now getting decorations strewn about it. "Isn't that so Chef? Go on- let us know- do we at least have pie? Or yams? Or a ham?"

Chef sniffed and folded his arms. "Not sayin'," was his grumpy sounding but entirely good-humoured reply.

Trip shook his head at Hoshi. "Ah swear that man must have been in some kind of secret service- there's no way anyone can get anything outta him when he's set on it!" He fell quiet for a moment as he was asked to help to put the star on the top of the tree.

"At least tomorrow is Christmas Eve," Hoshi said to pacify Trip. "Not long to wait."

"Yeah," he agreed. He came down from putting the star on the tree, then turned to Hoshi again.

"Jest think though," he said, "a Vulcan ship being pulled by Rudolph!"

The next day, Christmas Eve, Archer was sitting at his desk in his Ready Room waiting for Malcolm and T'Pol to arrive.

When they arrived together, as was their punctual habits, Archer composed himself for what he had to ask of them.

Malcolm was almost at attention, eyes just above Archer's head, and T'Pol was standing erect but with her hands behind her back.

"At ease Malcolm," Archer said, to which Malcolm took the same position as T'Pol. Archer cleared his throat. "I've asked the two of you here to perform a particular and top secret duty tonight when there are the fewest number of people around." He paused for a moment to gather himself. "I need you to be 'Santa's Little Helpers', as it were and sort out the presents under the tree and put up decorations."

At this point, Archer was trying his very _very_ best not to laugh. Of all the officers, or indeed any of his crewmembers, to be calling 'Santa's Little Helpers', Malcolm and T'Pol were the two least likely. Probably the two least likely even if they'd been on Earth and had the entire Starfleet population to choose from.

He looked them directly in the eyes, sternly, to try to stop himself from laughing. Both of them had an eyebrow raised and had a very engineered look on their faces- a practised look of patience coupled with respect for a superior officer.

"This isn't a punishment," Archer continued, more for Malcolm's sake who he thought could quite easily think it was such, "but I know that both of you can't have any secrets wheedled out of you, and the crew needs some morale. I ordered all these items from Starfleet and they're sitting in the guest quarters right now as they're both empty and right next to the Mess hall. Any questions?"

Malcolm blinked. "Um, no Sir," he almost stuttered.

"No Captain," T'Pol said.

"Then you're both dismissed," Archer said, "And thanks- this will mean a lot to the crew."

Malcolm nodded slowly, coming to terms with the request, and they both turned and left. It took all of Archer's willpower to not burst out laughing until the door was closed, especially when he heard T'Pol ask Malcolm what the significance was behind the 'Santa's Little Helper' phrase.

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When Archer wandered into the Mess hall early Christmas morning, he had to say that Malcolm and T'Pol had outdone themselves.

The fact that they'd also managed to bedeck the ceilings of the corridors with little fairy lights and boughs of fake holly and wreaths was astonishing, but the Mess itself looked astounding. The main lights had been turned off, and the only light was from the multitude of little cream fairy lights all over the place- literally. You could read by the light coming from them, there were so many.

There were presents under the tree, and by the mountain of them, there was clearly one for everyone on board. Chef had even set up a buffet table as no one would really be able to sit down, though there were seats and tables everywhere. Trip would be pleased with the sheer amount of food crammed on the tables- yams, pies, puddings, roast veg and turkeys, hams, cheese and crackers, and those were only the snippet that Archer could see from the doorway. Crackers and paper hats were everywhere too.

Archer smiled. His ship really was a wonderful family. He stole out of the Mess again to prepare for the day.

When Archer next made an appearance in the Mess, it was several hours later and there were crewmembers and noise everywhere which were spilling out of the Mess and into the corridors. Music was pumping out of the speakers all over the ship, although very quietly in some places- work still had to be done of course. But the crew were all coming down here to the Mess when they were done or when they had a moment to spare and the Christmas feel was rife and ongoing throughout the day.

None of the presents had been touched, which Archer was happy about as he wanted to hand them out to everyone in person.

He had taken all of this in in a moment. When the first person saw him, they let out a cheer which made everyone else look up and join in- he was dressed in a Father Christmas suit and sporting a very fake but really a very large beard and a pillow stuffed in his jacket to give him a large stomach.

"Ho ho ho!" he said loudly, by way of greeting the room. It turned into a real laugh when he saw T'Pol sitting next to Trip who had clearly convinced her to wear a Santa hat. It actually suited her. And Phlox was by the buffet tables seemingly trying every bit of festive food he could balance on his plate. Trip himself had the camera out and was merrily taking pictures. Travis came up to him and handed him a glass of gluwein. "Merry Christmas Captain!" he said, smiling brightly and wearing a gold and purple hat.

He even saw Hoshi trying to get a bright pink and red hat on to Malcolm's head, although the Tactical Officer wasn't putting up much of a fight. Or maybe it was because he had no hands spare because of all the mince pies and punch he was holding.

Archer made his way through the throng of people whilst being greeted and dodging dancers to the Christmas pop music.

He spent most of the rest of the day handing out presents to people as he saw them and trying to avoid a large hangover as everyone seemed to be trying to give him a drink.

To say that their Christmas was cramped and a bit manic was putting it mildly, but as far as Archer looked, he could see happy, smiling people.

_Yes_, he thought, _this was just what the crew needed. A bit of fun and frivolity for the season_.

He thought about the Vulcans who had brought all of this to the _Enterprise_ and he smiled. He had asked them if they'd wanted to stay for the celebrations, but they politely declined. Archer had the impression that they'd seen a Christmas before. He laughed at the thought of some of the Vulcans he'd met in the past wearing a Santa hat and drinking gluwein. He had to hand it to T'Pol, she was a unique Vulcan. Perfectly fitting on the ship. As he viewed the scene before him, he realised that everyone was just right for the _Enterprise_ family.

"Merry Christmas everyone!" He shouted above the din, which got him a very enthusiastic reply from his crew.

-Fin-

And Merry Christmas everyone!


End file.
